[Potentially long entry ahead…]
Organising stuff, whether it be work, social or other, is pretty much a full time commitment I have, whether taken on voluntarily or because I need to. Take an average week day. Either I’m working on stuff for my company, which involves organising my own shit, projecting timelines and budgets with other people, working out how crazy quick we can get something done by… Or I’m doing freelance stuff which involves mammoth organisation, so that you actually have work on the horizon, pimping out yourself as opportunities come up.. and when you’re actually working, making it happen! So often is the case that you end up organising the clients own stuff side as well, so that everything fits in well together. This, I all find a breeze, and comes to me naturally. Used to it, and take advantage of it so that it keeps me busy. But it really does take a toll on you, after work, you just wanna chill…
So then, ya know, social organising is also a big thing. After a busy day you wanna have fun on the weekend. Say catching up with the cofa crew. Well then, discuss it with a few, get the vibe. Have a few ideas, then call up everyone to give the social pitch. See what individual availability is like, balance it across several days, pick the best for varying reasons. Ask about desired event, but really make a decision on it. Choice of venue, timing. Push democracy as far as it works but ultimately that isn’t far until it falls back on a decision making process and ‘best option’ compromised result. Battle through the issues, availability conflicts, totally different desires in event opportunities.. and eventually, it’ll happen, and ppl will prolly have a fun time. Excellent.
After all that, cool, you made a dinner or drinks or something happen. Pass go, collect $200 and spend it on phone bills and petrol 
Spend your life organising all day, organising all night…
I’m kinda tiring of the style.
It all started at Noosa. Big trip some of us bdm kids went on last year. Huge relative to anything we’d done before. First bdm kids event that involved a plane! Serious stuff, and had to be planned *well* in advance. First it was haggling on event. Calls, discussions, big discussions, dinners, you want this they want that, lets compromise, etc. Spring break we decided, go for that vibe. Pick somewhere costal, warm, approaching summer. End of uni, cool we’ll be done. Plan it delicately so that we can be at the cofa end of year expo, but get back before ppl need to jet for overseas. We’re talking with one to two day accuracy on each end, months in advance. Find a place, tentatively book. Then the big moment - booking flights that can’t be refunded. This is the real threshold for people to cross to be locked in. Then book the accommodation. Cool we might be set! No no, not yet. Keep everyones expectations realistic so everyone will have a good time. Try and be careful to not make others feel left out by bringing it up with them.. cos unfortunately only so many can go, and it really is as simple as that. As organiser, really the buck stops with you, keep everything in line, or else someone will feel upset, something will go wrong. Keep driving a straight and narrow path. Did I mention this is all while being insanely busy at uni organising and coding furiously on ninjaman, the biggest time-consuming life-devouring project of my life.. trying to get that shit done? Huge…
After that event, I vowed not to organise another big holiday. So much effort, and while the time there was uber cool and a great break, in a way you really feel the massive effort wasn’t worthwhile. This will sound selfish and probably is, but I honestly didn’t feel the net gratitude was worthy of the effort invested. There, I said it. Selfish, maybe I expect too much, but the truth. What you get back doesn’t meet the heartfelt effort you put in. That’s tough.
Since then, any organising I do has that at the back of my mind. Will I really feel this is worthwhile? Will I see that from other ppl who are coming along? But you feel if you dont, people will see each other less, and.. you just cant let that happen cos thats not cool. So while split, you keep it up, on top of everything else that keeps steamrolling on. Some graduation stuff recently, the would-be trip of this weekend that got canned at the 11th hour due to weather, it keeps on going…
Until now. I’m going on a holiday from all this. Something I should have done a while back. With the exception of probably reviving the postponed weekend getaway, that’ll be it. No more for quite a while. It slowly grinds at me every time, and I just need to get far away. I really want to go on a big roadtrip soon, but it wont be me. I really want to go on a holiday flying away somewhere later in the year, but not me. I really want a regular ‘dinner n drinks’ with a few ppl (but spaced far out distance-wise, difficult for anyone) but again.. not me. Good luck to the next person, hope we do something soon, and regularly 
Controversial post? Maybe, gotta clock in my julie cooper time. Had to be said? Most definitely. End of rant…
Oh, and if you have wondered what the hell happened to my 21st party? Well this… organisational stress/wearing out, is the real reason its been delayed. Its one big looming ball of organisational pain that I just don’t want to do right now, even if its for myself. When my hearts in it again I will, not until then. So, finally there is a truthful answer on that, it just took a long time to say. Thanks for reading.
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Restaurants set up for candle lit dinners, pubs too. At home we killed all the lights, and I went out to Greenwich to check out how the city looked in darkness. Ryan managed to grab a couple of great before and after pics of the Sydney city in darkness!
